Thursday, May 14, 2015

Speaking Truth in Friendships

I have the honor and joy of being on an all women’s softball team. I say 'honor', because I have always lacked the amount of coordination that’s required for sports.  I say 'joy', because the ladies have no idea what a true blessing they are in my life.  Part of me is convinced that they let me on the team because of my awesome wind-up before I lob the ball about 10 feet.  Think “Rookie of the Year,” minus the speed and distance. Regardless of the reason, I’m happy to be on a team with such positive and encouraging women--who love me for who I am, wind-up and all. 

Part of my team exemplified something beautiful this week. Our game had been rained out, so we took the time to get in some much needed practice. Desiring to use the most of ‘kid free’ time, we soon found ourselves at Happy Hour.  We had been chatting for a while when I got a phone call from my husband.  I had totally forgotten to tell him I was going out after practice!  Cringing, I answered my phone.  He wasn't thrilled that it was 9:15 and I hadn't called to let him know.  I hung up the phone and explained the situation to the ladies. 

At this point the conversation could have gone anywhere.  The common response is husband bashing, gossip, or false assumptions.  “Who does he think he is?’  "He’s not your keeper!” "You’re a grown woman!”  These are all things women often say to their friends to show their loyalty and support.  That’s not how the conversation went.  Instead, we had an open and honest discussion about what happened. We discussed how nice it was to have a husband that cared enough to call. A friend brought up how she reacts when her husband is out. We also talked about insignificant things that we make into larger issues.  Our discussion lasted about 5-10 minutes and ended with, “do you need to go call him back?”  I stepped away, called my husband, made peace, and enjoyed the rest of my night. 

Being vulnerable and transparent with my friends allowed them to show the support that a marriage needs to thrive.  I was shown that they care not only about me, but also about my marriage.  After all, I can’t truly be happy and content when I’m at odds with my husband. I could have gone home bitter and angry.  Partly because of their response, I went home feeling thankful and cared for.  We woke the next morning joyful, and started the day off on a positive note. 


My team reminded me of how to genuinely support someone.  It’s not in platitudes or a swift response.  True friends take the time to understand the truth of a situation, and assess it wisely. It’s easy for us to respond to our friends with what we think they want to hear. However, as His followers, Christ desires for us to be open and frank with one another. Paul speaks of this in Ephesians 4:25 when he says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”